C.H.F

I´m not living the best version of my life and I´m not being the best version of myself that I can be.
But the hardest is, that I know who I am, I just forgot for a little while.
I feel like it’s a cave and there´s been words echoing around my body for such a long time.
Sometimes, I forget what my purpose is. I don’t mean purpose as my “fate” or “destiny” that’s been created by some greater being.
I´m talking about the purpose I´ve created for myself, the life that I want to lead and the sort of person I want to be at the end of it.
But again, I feel like I´ve woken up in a dark room and I can´t quite see the direction I´m suppose to be heading in.
Deep down, I know who I am and I know where I´m supposed to be going, but because I don´t see it immediately when I wake up I sort of forget and I feel like I have to spend the rest of the day scrabbling around in the dark trying to find someway to turn the light back on. Sometimes, I find it, but sometimes it takes someone to turn it back up for me. 
There´s times when I feel entirely lost, as I suppose some of you might feel too.
Anyways, it seems like I´m constantly being pushed reluctantly into the unknown. And I have no idea what my life is going to be like from now on.

But one day, I´m gonna wake up with a purpose, knowing where I wanna go, how I´m gonna get there, what direction I have to choose, but most importantly, what kind of person I have to be to reach there.
Until that moment arrives, I know I´m gonna feel upset, but I know I have to keep calmed down and carry on, keep pushing forward. 
This has happened many times before, but mostly, this situation has made me know and relate with some certain people.
They’ve teached me how their lives work and what their purpose is, and they sort of adopted me and took me under their wing.
I have never felt such a sense of family before, because at the beginning of this situation I hadn´t really realized how many good moments and emotions they have brought into my life.
The moment I realized it, was when some special person in my life told me : “You’ve got the light back”.
And it´s been quite a lot since I met the first person who helped me switch the light on, but all I´ve got to say is thank you. 
They´re an amazing bunch of creative, talented, wonderful, barking loud, mad people who just make it more easy going.